How to avoid becoming a 'Weekend Dad' following the breakdown of your relationship.

The good news is you can still be a super dad to your children. No matter what differences you may have with your children's mother, you will always be their father.

The fact you are separated from your ex-partner does not mean you have to be separated from your children. Providing it is safe for them to do so, it is your children's right to have unrestricted contact with both of their parents.

It is really important and in the best interests of your children for you to try and agree the future shared-care arrangements for the children with your ex-partner. If you need the assistance of an impartial third party - this can be done via the mediation process. You could also consider entering into a parenting plan with your ex-partner, which can help to clarify the arrangements that need to be put in place for you both to successfully co-parent your children following your separation. The parenting plan is not legally binding but if entered into correctly could be useful in narrowing the issues should the intervention of the court become necessary.

I have represented many fathers who have been angry, frustrated and extremely worried about the prospect of not seeing their children following the breakdown of their relationship with their children's mother. While they may not see their children, as often, as they did when they were living in the same household, as their children and their ex-partner, in most cases the quality of the time they spent with their children improved considerably and they were far from just a 'Weekend Dad'.

MY TOP 3 TIPS

1. Positioning is key - if you suspect your relationship is over and you are not spending quality time with your children, you need to start doing so before you physically separate from your partner. You need to be more hands on with the day to day care of your children by for instance taking and collecting them from school, actively participating with their school plus extra-curricular activities, assisting them with their homework. This will strengthen your case that you have a significant role in the children's lives, which must be maintained post separation.

2. Don't be quick to give up - As I always say to my clients, if I was faced with the prospect of not being able to see my children, I would do whatever it takes to see them, even if it was not what I wanted initially. For instance in cases where your ex-partner makes allegations against you, which prevent you from having the contact you wish to have with your children, while the court investigates the allegations, you may have to spend time with your children in a contact centre. While this is far from ideal, it will not happen indefinitely and should be considered, as a means to an end.

3. Mediate, if possible and don't be too quick to litigate - There are no real 'winners' in children matters and the focus should always be on doing what is in the best interest of your children. It is preferable for you to agree the future shared care arrangements for your children with your ex-partner instead of leaving it for a Judge to determine and impose an order on you.